TRIPLE  M
by SANDEFUR
Summary: A House/Joan of Arcadia crossover.


TRIPLE M

by

SANDEFUR

Disclaimer: This is fanfiction just for fun. I have no claims.

June, 2007

Martha Masters sips her latte as she strolls through this neighborhood close to the famed Johns Hopkins University. Today is the most critical interview of her collegiate life, but she isn't worried even though she has arrived two hours early. Punctuality is one of her 'things'. Now, with time on her hands, Martha is doing a little window shopping in order to kill time, but she is not idle in this activity. All too familiar with college interviews, she is going over in her head everything she might be asked and her most likely responses. You have to keep flexible in these situations in order to be responsive to the personality of the interviewer. Today she will be facing one of the school's alumni, who often volunteer with the glut of overly qualified applicants that inundate the university every year with applications. With at least a hundred applicants for every open slot, getting into Johns Hopkins' is an iffy prospect for most students, but that doesn't deter Martha. Her only concern is her ability to impress a practicing doctor, who will evaluate her partially on his impression of what she would be like to work with as a colleague. Having spent all but her early childhood in college, Martha is a little concerned about how she will be perceived out in 'the real world'.

As Martha comes to the next shop, a tiny hole-in-the-wall kind of place, she can't help but smile. A fortune teller? Do people still go to such places to have their palms read, their tea leaves examined or to have some smooth talking con artist gaze into a crystal ball in order to hear predictions of exactly what they wanted to hear? How can people be so gulible? In the doorway there appears the fortune teller, and she is as much cliché as she is real. Dressed in multi-colored robes, wearing a huge black wig and sporting rose-colored glasses, the woman is almost unrecognizable under all of her make-up. The only surprise is the woman's youth. It is hard to tell, but Martha would guess that the young woman is a few years younger than herself.

"Tell your fortune, pretty lady?"

Martha politely shakes her head as she starts to walk by. "No thanks. I don't believe in such things."

"And does your level of belief affect reality, 'Triple M'?"

Martha pauses and looks back at the fortune teller she has just passed. "What did you call me?"

"Triple M, which are your initials."

Martha smiles. "I have 'M-M' initials on my hand bag. A good eye for detail must be useful in your profession."

"It is useful in many professions. And how did I know your middle initial was also 'M'?"

"A lucky guess based on alliteration. Still, the odds were long. Kudos for being a bold guesser."

"Then perhaps you will concede I am a very lucky 'guesser'. Would you like to hear my guesses for your future?"

Martha shakes her head. "Sorry, but it would take a lot more than one lucky guess to get me to put down money for someone in your profession. No offense."

"None taken. Those like me, who have been given a special gift, feel the need to live our lives worthy of what we have been given. Sometimes that involves others being critical of your choices."

Martha feels a moment of sympathetic resonance with the fortune teller's words. It is almost as if she is describing her own life. No, don't fall for this trap. Besides being observant, such a woman must be to some degree…intuitive.

"You're awfully young to be pursuing a 'profession' like yours."

"Not all fortune tellers begin as old crones. That only comes with the passage of time. So, Miss Triple M, read your fortune? I don't normally conduct business on the sidewalk."

Martha looks the fortune teller up and down and feels a strange sense of familiarity with this young woman. What next, will she start believing they have met in a past life?

"I'll give you one chance to get my business. Tell me anything that couldn't be a mere guess."

"You don't know the name of the boy who took your virginity." the fortune teller says as she turns and enters her shop.

For a moment, Martha's jaw drops. She has no choice but to follow the fortune teller into the shop. It is indeed a small place with beaded curtains, incense burning and dimly lit by candles. The young fortune teller is already seated behind a table with a crystal ball that looks like it was purchased at some novelty gift shop. Martha sits in the chair opposite the fortune teller and places her coffee cup on the floor.

"How…how did you know that?"

"Madame Agnes sees all, but tells nothing of her client's business. That is, if you are a client?"

Martha digs into her purse and retrieves her cash. "How much?"

"Forty."

Martha looks at the wad of bills in her hands and realizes how foolish she was to display how much money she is carrying for this out-of-town visit. Still, the woman could have asked for a lot more. Martha peels off a couple of twenties and places them on the table. Quickly, 'Madame Agnes' retrieves the money and slips it under her robe, safely tucked into her bra.

"You need not worry. I realize you are a very honest person, but this is the one detail of your life you always lie about. I will tell no one."

Martha sighs. "It's just so embarrassing. I was 15 and just starting college, but not surprisingly I didn't fit in. My roommate was invited to a party at a fraternity and asked if I wanted to go along. I knew it was a bad idea, but I assumed I'd be safe. I thought she would be watching out for me. Big mistake. Five minutes after I got there, I was on my own. I had a beer, to blend in, and that led to two which led to ten. For the first time in my life I was drunk, and there was this guy there, a freshman, who was equally drunk for the first time. We danced, we talked and eventually we ended up in somebody's bedroom. I barely remember the experience, for which I am thankful. The next morning, by the light of the day, he saw how young I really was and literally ran away."

Madame Agnes notes the intense blush of the other woman and the way she stares at the floor. "I am sorry. It must have been traumatic."

"I-I got over it, mostly. But I never admit that story to anyone. If anyone asks, I speak of my second time, years later, which was a much better, much more romantic experience. So tell me, how did you know? And please, no more of the standard bull you hand most of your clients."

Madame Agnes smiles and pushes aside the cheap crystal ball. "Okay, the thing is, I really do have a gift that is a little hard to explain. What I do doesn't fit the standard categories of psychic or medium or whatever you want to call it. But I can 'read' people, sometimes with surprising accuracy. My brother calls it reading the board of life better than most."

"It sounds like an interesting paranormal ability, and I'm still skeptical. But…since I paid, what can you tell me?"

Agnes pauses, focusing on Martha for a few moments. "I'm not trying to flatter you or state the obvious since we are so close to Johns Hopkins. You are very intelligent, interested in medicine, dissatisfied with the life choices you have previously made and are seeking to try a new life path."

"I don't think my life choices were all that bad, in terms of my education."

"I didn't say they were bad, I said you weren't satisfied with them. You have been seeking a life path that is worthy of all that you have been given. Something that will make you feel you haven't squandered your gifts. Your previous choices have not given you that feeling of accomplishment and respect that you yearn for. You believe medicine will do that."

"It is a noble profession—helping others."

"I wasn't criticizing, but I do want to caution you. Today you face a crossroad moment in your life. Take one path and you will regret it. Take the other, and it opens up a wealth of positive possibilities."

"My path choices are obvious. Get into Johns Hopkins, one of the best medical schools in the world, or settle for one of the other medical schools that have already sent me letters of acceptance. You're telling me to give Johns Hopkins a pass? That's crazy."

"I'm not being critical of the school. I am only pointing out that no matter how excellent the school, that doesn't mean you will be happy there or be satisfied with where that path may lead you."

"What's the worse that could happen?"

"You seek to gain acceptance and respect. That is very important to you. Will your life be happy if you start the next several years being leered at by a short bald man who ogles your body and all but ignores your mind?"

"I know there are men who treat women like that, but not at this school. Its' reputation…"

"Again, I am not speaking of the school. I am talking of your very individualized life path. What I speak of is merely a sign of what is to come. That lack of respect, that lack of 'noble' accomplishment that is so vital to you. Your path lies elsewhere."

Martha stands. "This is nonsense, and I won't listen to another moment of it!"

Martha hastily exits, slamming the door behind her. Madame Agnes sighs and looks up…

"So what did that accomplish? How did we help that young woman?"

From a backroom steps out a similarly dressed Fortune Teller God. Joan removes her wig, glasses, and starts rubbing away the thick make-up.

"Joan, you know that the ripples aren't always easy to see at first. In time Martha Masters life path will bear great fruit from the choice she makes today."

"Doesn't this subvert her free will?"

"Not at all. At most we have today given her a little nudge. All choices remain her own to make."

"This has been a weird assignment. I come to Baltimore to visit Uncle Richard and his family before I start my summer vacation, and you have this scenario all set up for me, including a disguise. I now see why you said I would recognize Martha when I saw her. Please tell me she's not another half-sister I didn't know about." (Footnote.)

"No Joan, not this time. It's true the two of you share a couple of distant ancestors, but the resemblance between the two of you is a mere genetic happenstance."

"Well it was freaky staring into a face that is nearly identical to mine. I just hope the ripples we have put in motion today work out for her."

Fortune Teller God smiles. "They will."

X X X X X

Nervously, Martha knocks on the door of the interview room. Why did she waste time with that crazy fortune teller? Now she is all upset and that will hurt her chances at being successful today. Imagine, being told she would have a sign of a short bald man who was going to ogle her body. Not that this hasn't occured on occasion, but in an interview at this school...? The door opens and it is all Martha can do not to gasp. The man standing there is short and bald. He smiles.

"Miss Masters? Right on time. My name is Dr. Chris Taub, and I will be interviewing you today. Please, come in and take a seat."

Martha nods and does as he asks, noting that he gave her breasts a quick, appreciative glance. Okay, don't blow this out of proportion. Lots of guys take what they think is a subtle look. Taub closes the door. With her back turned, he takes the liberty of giving Martha a slow, sexual evaluation. Nice butt. Nice legs. A very pretty face, and those breasts...perky! Carefully, Taub puts on his serious doctor's face as he comes around the table.

"And how are you today, Miss Masters?"

"A little nervous, sir."

"No need to be. This will be a painless procedure, which is also what I tell all of my patients."

"Oh, what is your specialty, Doctor?"

"Plastic surgery. Or at least it has been up until now."

"You're changing specialties?"

"I'm considering it. In many ways we have a lot in common. I'm applying to Princeton Plainsboro for a chance to be on the staff of a brillant diagnostician, Gregory House. The competition to get one of the three open slots will be fierce."

"You're giving up your private practice to be a staffer for another doctor? He must be something really special."

"He is. Let me tell you a little about Dr. House..."

Later...

Martha Masters walks along the same street as earlier today. She is far less confident than she was this morning even though the interview had gone surprisingly well. Dr. Taub was suitably impressed with Martha's exisiting degrees in math and art, and very impressed that she had finished a four year pre-med degree in only 18 months. He asked her intelligent but predictible questions appropriate to such an interview and confided that he would be giving the university his highest recommendation for Martha's admission to the school of medicine. Normally Martha would have been thrilled by this outcome, if it hadn't been for the fact that Taub never stopped undressing her with his eyes. Dirty old man, he must be at least forty! Martha shudders as she remembers the way he...ogled her while thinking he was being subtle about it. This isn't the first time Martha has had such an expereince, after all she is young and fairly attractive, but this is the first time it has been predicted in advance!

Martha arrives at the fortune teller's shop and gasps. The shop is not only closed, it is boarded up. It looks like it has been abandoned for years. It must be the same place, she recognizes all of the other stores along the street, and even the now faded lettering on the shop's window advertises: Palms Read, Fortunes Told. What is going on?

A voice from behind says, "Hey lady, are you lost?"

Martha turns and sees an oddly dressed little girl of about seven on a bicycle. "Do you live around here?"

"I know the area like the back of my hand. Are you looking for a fortune teller?"

"I was looking for the fortune teller who works out of this shop."

"Are you kidding? That place has been closed for years. There is an old lady a couple of blocks over that tells fortunes out of her home. Want directions?"

"No thanks. You're sure no one was in this shop earlier today?"

"Like I said, it has been closed for years. See ya around, Martha." Little Girl God says as she rides away on her bike, giving a backhanded wave.

Martha Masters watches the little girl ride away and tries to deal with this sense of...what? Twilight zone? This day has not gone as she expected, and now she has to face a tough decision. The offer from Johns Hopkins will be coming soon, and she has to decide: do what is logical or listen to an inner instinct that is telling her to give the prestigious school a pass. Martha is a firm believer in cold hard facts, science over superstition and making your own destiny. But still...

Martha looks between the boards over the shop's windows, and it is as she expected - empty. There is not a single piece of furniture or decoration, and the place is covered in a thick layer of dust. It doesn't make sense, but somehow she must have dreamed the whole thing. Maybe the stress got to her more than she realized and her mind provided an exit strategy in case the interview proved to be too much. That is a believeable scenario, even if it is a little scary mental health-wise. Like her imagining that little girl knew her name. All part of this momentary break with reality due to stress...

"I'm not crazy." Martha whispers to herself.

Yes, but stop saying it outloud. Just realize that you have your limits, and even a genius level I.Q. can be overwhelmed. Head home and wait for the news from the university, which you will accept...right? Why not? It's a great school, and you will learn lots of wonderful things that will help you be a great doctor, like that Dr. House her interviewer kept going on about. Who knows, maybe when you get out of school, you might try to get a job at Princeton Plainsboro with the great Dr. House. Martha smiles at that thought.

Martha turns away from the window, already feeling better...but then she pauses. She turns back to the window and looks in the shop one last time, verifying what she thought she saw. On the dusty floor is her coffee cup.

The End.

Please review. (Footnote: the reference to a "half-sister" by Joan goes back to my story, SPIRAL.)

In honor of Amber Tamblyn who was Joan and is now Martha.


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